From time to time you will hear people say, "stable like a rock", or "rock solid". I usually hate these people who say this.
I never have anything in my life that is "rock solid", but actually can be? And I say this not including my relationship with Jesus. Because that's the only constant in my life, at all times. But everything else always seems to have the possibility to be swayed.
My identity...my belief system (somewhat)...my dreams...my love...yup at one time or another these things were once challenged or swayed. But here is the kicker.
If they sway, does that mean they aren't real..or absolute truths. How can I believe in love one day, and the next week everything is turned upside down. Now, usually its love that I always am constantly swaying in. Why? Can real, genuine love ever be swayed. Challenged...yes, but swayed away from a completely different sets of view points.
These questions only leave me feeling that as much as I think I love, its not it. And no matter how much I force it, I will always be swaying. But I am starting to believe that I can do that life. The life that sways from love back and forth. I can do that because really I have no other choice.
That's the thing about rocks, they can easily be put in a tough place. So this concept of rock solid...can it exist in love? I believe it can, I just don't believe I am that lucky to live it.
Which makes me sad. Because others seem so sure in the department of "love" and I'm just not. But in actuality am I really sure about many things in my life? Can this just be another battle I live with and fight through because well I'm kind of stuck.
You see my rock was put in a hard place a long time ago. I'm stuck and for some reason can not move. And I have learned to be okay with it. Maybe one day someone will kick me out of the way..or the other rocks around me will find a way out (which in return makes it easier for me to move)..or maybe I will just stay exactly where I am until the next time I ponder a different way of life.
What I desire is to be so sure that I can one day be those people I hate that are "solid like a rock" without ever swaying and always knowing, that their love..
is real love.